Bring on the Joy

Today I have no outfit photos to share with you. No links to clothes that are probably from Loft. You see, I've had something on my mind for the past few days and I think now is a good time to share it with you. I hope you stick around to read.

For the past couple of weeks, I've felt very disconnected from my clothes. I know that's a weird thing to say, but I've kind of felt like I've been going through the motions of getting dressed without really feeling happy with what I'm wearing. At first I didn't know where this feeling was coming from. I thought maybe it was just a reaction to the feeling of change brought on by Dan's new job, the end of the school year, and my transition back into retail. But I began to realize a lot of these feelings stemmed from the amount of shopping I've done for the blog. Lately I've found myself buying things while thinking, "this will be great for the blog!" instead of "I absolutely love this outfit!" What that has created is a wardrobe I don't really know or feel anything special about. What used to be a collection of clothes I truly loved has turned into a closet full of stuff I haven't connected with because of the sheer volume of new clothes I've worked in.

I've felt this way before. The winter before I turned 18, our family home burned down. I'm not going to go into the details here, but let me assure you we lost pretty much everything, save the things that were buried in boxes the fire didn't fully destroy. God is good, our church family of the time was amazing, and things were slowly replaced. But when you go from things you've known since infancy to new things you have no memories with, it creates a disconnect. A weird feeling like when you're staying in a hotel and you know nothing there is yours, except that you have no home to go back to. Having all these new clothes is creating that same disconnect on a smaller scale.

At this point, you may be thinking, "I can't believe this girl is complaining about having new clothes!" and I get that, but hang in there for a second. Having these feelings and being back in retail has caused me to realize something disturbing about our current material world (cue Madonna). Women, myself included, aren't shopping because we actually need new clothes; we are shopping because we don't know what we already have. Let me explain. I recently realized I have five chambray shirts. FIVE. Sure one is lighter, one has a print, and one is only a half button-down, but they are still five ridiculously similar shirts. Example number two: yesterday a women was shopping for a pair of white shorts and her husband asked, "honey, don't you already have white shorts? It seems like you do." and she had to stop and think about it, but then made the argument that even if she did, they didn't have the scalloped edge that this pair had. I'm willing to bet that now that she owns the scalloped pair, she'll never touch the other pair again. Just like how I only wear two of my five chambray shirts.

It's not that we NEED clothes, or that our wardrobe is lacking something essential, it's that we like to shop and don't love what we have.

So what's the problem? Who cares if women are shopping as long as they aren't shopping themselves into debt, right? The problem is this. We end up with such bloated wardrobes that we can't see what we have. When we can't see what we have, we feel like we have nothing to wear. When we feel like we have nothing to wear, we shop, adding to the vastness of our wardrobes. And around and around we go.

I decided I'm over it. There is no reason to have my closet so jam packed with things I never wear that the clothes I do wear are always wrinkled and hard to find. So what did I do? I read. I turned to the internet and read article after article about how to minimize your wardrobe. Most of the articles are the same and things we all already know. "If it is too small or too big, get rid of it" or "if you haven't worn it in the past year, give it away." But what about people like me who already go through their clothes on a regular basis and get rid of anything that doesn't fit or hasn't been worn in a year? What if my stuffed closet has already undergone that style of cleansing? Then I found a new article with a new concept I'd never heard before. "If it doesn't bring you joy, you shouldn't keep it." Wait, what? Joy? That's a tall order. It was just the kind of standard I needed to hear.

Two days ago, I took EVERYTHING out of my closet. I mean everything. I went piece by piece and asked myself three questions:
1. Does this piece bring me joy?
2. Does this piece have an occasion?
3. Does it have any coffee stains I can't seem to remove?

And by using those guidelines I filled two garbage bags with clothes that I have either sold or donated. What I found is that I felt very blah about some of my clothes, or that I had a dress that was too short for work but not something I wanted to wear on weekends, and occasionally an item I loved but had spilled coffee on and hadn't been able to let go. Why hold on to things I never wear just because they fit? Exactly. Someone else can use those clothes.

I still love to shop, and I'm not going to stop doing it, but I am going to give myself some guidelines. First, I'm done buying doubles, unless I need to make an upgrade. For example, I have a black blazer, but it's pretty cheap, so investing in a higher quality blazer makes sense as long as I donate the old one. As for new items, I'm going to use my Stylebook app to make sure it suits my current wardrobe, and will be easily combine to make at least five new outfits. The exception is, of course, dresses which don't always mix five ways. For dresses, I will make sure it can fit at least three different occasions. If it's something I like but can't wear to work, won't wear on weekends, and can't wear to a wedding, I probably shouldn't own it.

Whew! I truly feel like I've gotten something off of my chest by writing this post, and I'm eager to hear your feedback! I've linked to the article I referenced in case you'd like some inspiration. By downsizing my wardrobe, I feel like I have MORE to wear, not less. I can see what I have, and I love every piece of it.

A Therapeutic Approach To Closet Cleaning